Addictions and Obsessions

Addiction: Scented candles

Obsession: Fairytales

First blog post! I was going to write an entry focusing on some amigurumi made solely for the school fair, but I have recently taken a break from crocheting to concentrate on school work since the end of school forever (or for the time being anyways) is in 3 days and graduation is exact in a month minus a day. For my last project, I want it to be more fairytale base. In my final presentation (which I have bombed horribly), I presented myself more as a storyteller than an illustrator so I might just continue that route.

To tell you the truth, I don’t know what the future will hold for me. I thought I knew four years ago but it was just the tip of the iceberg (so cliché, I know). It seems like the more I try to find myself, the less I know. Many things happening during these 4 years in college; it has broadened my horizon and my perspective of life. There are so many things I want to do but there are also so many lingering uncertainties. I think I still have time though. What irony! When I was in grammar school, I felt like I never have time for anything and I was deathly paranoid of everything and of all kinds of endings (which left me empty cold inside) but now I feel like I have all the time in the world –well, enough time for some soul searching at least. Have I lost my mind?

Anyway, I want the topic of this post to be on addictions and obsessions. Both of these words have a negative connotation and are synonyms of each other. According to the American Heritage Dictionary, addiction is “the condition of being habitually or compulsively occupied with or involved in something,” while obsession is defined as “a compulsive preoccupation with a fixed idea or an unwanted feeling or emotion, often accompanied by symptoms of anxiety.”

Addiction seems to relate more to substance and action (ie: addiction to alcohol or gambling). Obsession is more of a fixation to a conceptual and more idea base (ie: monomania). Usually, fanatics are obsessed with their idols and addicted to their music/acting/looks/whatever. I guess one can be obsess with objects too, like shoes, or perhaps it’s just an addiction to shopping? Both are consider bad for your psyche.

I found this topic interesting since my inner drama queen have a tendency to burst out in claims of a new obsession and/or addiction quite so often, leaving friends to be indifferent to this routine. Maybe I have a problem. My addictions are nothing quite as harmful as alcohol or drugs but they are generally fickle, lasting from durations of 6 months or 1 day, give-or-take. Today, I am addicted to scented candles; tomorrow, I maybe addicted to post-its (I can just feel it in my pinky-toes). Or maybe I am just addicted to shopping, which poses to be a real problem. Anyway, my “addictions” tend to just linger on the side of my mind and I only pay attention to the subject when I think of it or notice it in my peripheral vision.

When it comes to obsessions, however, I cannot stop thinking about it and it dominates and dictates everything I do. I can spend hours or even days research the subject. Sometimes I forgo sleep just so I can continue search of more information about the subject matter and nothing seems enough to quench the thirst for this knowledge. I am afraid to sleep at times because I might lose this connection with this subject and forget all the work I have done in my studies. I only sleep when I can no longer think. This can be a real problem for me.

I want to continue further discussion on this subject matter but it’s 5am already here in Chicago and I need a bit of sleep to get up for school in a few hours. Free feel to comment and discuss on this subject matter though. 

Here is a picture of my current candle addiction.
(It is an addiction because I keep relighting new candles to replace of the old one and sometimes I lit 2 because the first one is not burning fast enough.)

And here's another image for my inner crazy.
Sorry about the quality of the picture. I try using a good camera but the lighting in my room was just horrid.

Love and peace to all.